the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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