Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
