I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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