After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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