Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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