I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
