OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
