Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
even my farts smell like vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
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Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize