Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
