wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
