So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
