Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You pole danced in your parka.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
