don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She told me I should be a condom model.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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