I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
