TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
