Will you blow on my dice?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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