i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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