How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
