I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
