I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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