If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize