i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize