I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize