i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize