Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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