his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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