Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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