I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
