Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
