Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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