I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
