she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize