Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
