The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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