so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
