I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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