we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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