if i can run in heels then i can drive
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize