I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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