I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize