your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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