i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
