Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
