I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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