so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
