You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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