A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
