Just fell off a train. Bad.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
