what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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