i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
