Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
