Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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