My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
