I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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