You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize