He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.