My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.