I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.