Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize