when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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