let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
