Pappa wants mamma naked
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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