glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
