Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
