dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
